Its been a long time since my last dose of Bhang (dried and powdered Cannabis flowering tips ingested orally). The body grows and ages fast but the growth/decay of the soul is slower.
I was going through a phase of life where I felt that I was not in a very good place emotionally and it would not have been a good idea to take Cannabis at that time. Since then I have shifted home and am in a better place emotionally.
I haven’t begun to grow Cannabis in my new place yet but managed to get Bhang from a friend and took a pellet last week. Following is my trip report which is basically, as always, a list of some of the random thoughts and ideas that begun to blitzkrieg my mind:
I live on the second floor of an apartment building and sat in my balcony looking out at the surrounding apartment buildings, the clothes hanging out to dry in the balconies flapping in the wind, the pigeons flying from one roof to another -all seem to come alive and were throbbing in synchrony with he music playing in my mobile.
Shapes can convey/invoke emotions. Figures and shapes with sharp edges are the creation of and appeal to the logical side of our minds whereas shapes with smooth curvaceous edges appeal to the emotional subconscious part of us.
Everything behaves according to their inert nature or Svabhava and Prakruti (Sanskrit). There is no free will. In order to exercise free will one needs to overcome ones inner embedded tendencies.
The human personality has three aspects – the Distracted Doer, the Tempter/Counselor and the Witness. The Distractor Doer is all the time distracted by the illusory nature of Reality or Maya. The Temptor/Counsellor guides/misguides you out of ignorance/wisdom. There is no separate Evil and Good or the Devil and Angel, two entities of voices that whisper in your ears. There is just one, like two sides of the coin who whisper to you. It is up to to the waking-discerning Doer whether it makes this inner voice a tempter or a guide. The Witness, is just that, a Witness. It is the unknowable super conscious part of us that only a lucky few can ever realize fully.
Written words too have an aura. The strength and nature of which depends on their meaning and the kind of people who have been using them for centuries. Their energy of intention is embedded in them and when spoken out loudly with the right intention and energy they have the power to act on the material world. This is the science behind magical spells and mantras.
The Human mind is actually a cluster, consisting of and giving out parallel streams of thought/energy. To the normal waking mind, which is not under the influence of any psychotopic plant/drug and is therefore slow at grasping these multiple stream of thoughts simultaneously, they seem to appear one after the other. Under Cannabis, the mind is conscious of these simultaneous stream of thoughts and is able to look at each of them separately. But the speed at which these thoughts arise is mind boggling !!Perhaps in case of of schizophrenics this cluster is in a reality-shattering overdrive.
Then there is also a parallel phenomenon where a thought/intention arises followed by an emotion , but to the normal mind it appears as one infused with other. We are incapable, therefore of a pure thought or intention or feeling except under exceptional circumstances. If we were, we would be able to move mountains just with our minds !! In Star Wars, Yoda tells his young apprentice to ‘Believe’ when Luke is unable to lift X-wing out of the Dagobah swamp with his mind.
Most of our thoughts/intentions are infused with self-doubt/insecurity etc., all of which are different variations of the one primeval feeling of Fear. In Hindusim there is a universal blessing: Nirbhaya Bhava– be fearless. Be fearless, of not some external mortal enemy, but your inner fears and self-doubts. Under the influence of Bhang I became actually aware of an intention to do something arising in my consciousness and then almost immediately a feeling of self-doubt or fear piggy back riding on this intention, like a vampire, sucking out all the energy from it. All those books teaching the power of positive thinking ask you to believe in yourself but do not teach you how to get rid of the claws of fear digging into your subconscious. This fear will be there as long as the Self identifies itself with the body, mind and ego.
Thoughts occur in a different plane/dimension which modern Science has yet to break into. Dreams are actually the journeys of our conscious, sub-conscious and supra-conscious selves into their respective dimensions/planes of existence. We awake with distorted memories of these journeys. The enlightened souls come back with un-distorted memories.
The partaking of psychotropic substances in certain faiths -shaman, Sufism, Hinduism and others is for the Guru to decipher/discern what state her/his disciple has reached in their spiritual journey. As change in perception induced by the drug and the consequent thoughts, emotions and visions that arise indicate the progress of the disciple.
The body is the product of our consciousness. The physical body arises out of our individual Consciousness and not the other way around.
Sound pollution is more damaging than chemical pollution as it effects our nervous system and hence our mental and emotional well being. In the long run the very nature of our consciousness will change. The polluting sounds have a suffocating effect blocking our nerves, nodes and glands. This renders us more and more insensitive/deaf to the subtle vibrations so essential for our spiritual growth.
In order to understand/realize certain concepts/ideas one needs to think with their heart/emotional self rather than the logical mind. The heart too has a kind of intelligence, I would call it lateral intelligence.
Almost at the peak of my high, I switched on some hemi-sync music and lay down with my eyes closed. Withing a few moments I could feel a vibration in my fingers and toes, and a feeling that my body was preparing to lift off !! It was disorienting and a bit scary. And once fear entered my mind, it was over. Was I about to have an out of body experience (OBE) ? Perhaps I will try it next time around and might discover something !!